it breaks my heart knowing that i will never receive a blowjob
what the fuck why do so many people think they will never receive a blowjob
Because we have vaginas
(Source: punchingshins, via rhylandsmommy)
if i was famous i’d just tour around the country without telling anyone and go to random college campuses late at night, and i’d wait until i saw one person walking by themselves and i’d walk behind them and put my hands over their eyes and say guess who and when they turned around it’d be me and they’d be like omg and then i’d say “no one will ever believe you” and i’d just sprint off into the moonlight
(Source: shavingryansprivates, via perfetic)
Joe Biden’s new gun control policy:
“The only guns that should be on lockdown are THESE ones.” *flexes arms, kisses muscles, leaves with your girlfriend. *
(via martlna)
